Mistakes

I fell asleep last night thinking about this. . . BIG topic. What brought this to mind was a friend who let me know that a video of La Cella Bella was finally ready! And that made me think of another video that another friend took of a concert that I recently played in. . .I made mistakes! I haven't had the courage to watch the video yet. . . I know what I did!

As I pondered this, I remembered a quartet member who came to me after we had played, apologizing for mistakes she had made. I said to her, "It's not about mistakes." Wow! I think I need to listen to myself!

Music, to me, is emotion. Pure, raw emotion. It is the expression of life. It can take us places that we never thought possible. . .transporting us to another realm, another dimension! It is not about mistakes.

As a musician, I always strive to be perfect, or at least my idea of perfection! To have every note in its' proper place and time! I have yet to achieve that but, one thing I have achieved (I think) is playing from my heart. Playing every note with emotion. I had a teacher who told me once. . ."never play a note until it is time to play that note" . . . . I think of that every time I play.

I went to a concert once where a cellist was playing the Haydn C Major cello concerto. I have a special place in my heart for that piece. Having studied it in college, I knew every nuance of the piece. I was anxious to hear this cellists' interpretation of it. Her playing was incredible. . .every note in its' place, technically perfect. But, the performance left me cold. I felt no emotion, it did not move me anywhere! It did not send me to that special place in my mind where nothing exists but the music.

There were no mistakes in that performance but. . .there was also no emotion. So, music is not about mistakes, as life is not about mistakes. We all make them but do we all have the courage to forgive ourselves and move on? No one is harder on me than me. . .I easily can forgive others mistakes but can I give myself the same courtesy? In life we need our mistakes to keep us growing, in music we need our mistakes to keep us human, to keep us real, and to keep us motivated to play totally from the heart.

So, I guess I should watch the video and try to simply listen to the emotion, easy to say and not so easy to do!

My mantra . . . ."it's not about the mistakes!"